Life is beautiful, even when it's crazy.

2011. It's going to be a big year. Graduating in May, getting married the same week, and hopefully (Lord willing) finding a teaching job somewhere. My mind has been in shambles the past few days. I know that the Lord will provide for me and Spencer, but the idea that we will be married in 2 months and neither one of us has a job, is sort of unsettling. Yes, I'll admit it's a bit exciting and a bit of an adventure in itself wondering where where God will put us and what we will be doing, but I sort of want to know what's going on. The wedding planning is done, I'm taking easy-peasy classes (like tumbling and tennis) and now I feel like I'm just waiting for something to happen. It can be a bit unsettling.
This past week I interviewed with seven different school districts, and that's when this whole "Wow, I'm growing up" thing really hit me. I'm really looking for a big girl job now. I'm getting married. I'm not going to be going home every break to see my parents. I'm becoming an... adult. I am so excited about everything, and I have to say, I'm READY to graduate and test the waters of the "real world." But at the same time, I feel like I'm still clinging to my childhood and all of the security my parents have always provided for me. It's all very confusing and scary, but as I have already said a few times, I'm excited about it.
I'm looking forward to starting my grown up life with Spencer. I'm glad that he will be there with me every step of the way to take care of me and to discover things with.
Lately I have been really convicted by the Lord about my anxiety about the future. I've been questioning, if everything was taken away from me and I had nothing, would I be satisfied with the Lord's love only? I know the right answer is yes. I might have to work my way towards that satisfaction, but I know it would happen. The Lord always provides and He always comes through for me, even if it isn't on my watch.
When it comes down to it, I know the Lord is going to take care of me. He is going to bless my marriage to Spencer and I know that He has AMAZING plans for me. I can't wait to see what those plans are :) I am looking forward to the rest of my beautiful, crazy life.