Stop focusing on the wrong things.

Do you ever just wish you knew what was going to happen with your life? What God's plan is for your life? I wonder that all the time. This summer is moving so fast, and next thing you know, it's going to be Fall, then Spring, then... Graduation.. I don't know if I'm ready to be an adult. What if I don't get a teaching job? They're kind of hard to come by right now.. Or so I hear. I'm worried that I am going to end up in some town by myself. I know that God has amazing plans for me, but why can't I have a little sneak preview of what that's going to be? I guess that would ruin the surprise. Sorry if none of this makes sense. I don't want to be a waitress, or work in retail, or even be a substitute for a year (have you seen how kids treat subs?). I just want my own class. I want to teach. I want to do what I'm working so hard towards right now. I feel confident that this is the direction God wants me to go in. Especially since a fortunate series of events happened to cause me to turn away from my long-lived hopes of becoming a veterinarian. I actually was planning on being a vet until my second semester at Auburn. I did NOT want to be a teacher when I was growing up. Then I got placed in classrooms and it just felt.. right. Like that was where I was supposed to be. Now I love it and it has become what I'm passionate about. I'm just thinking about it, and what if my hopes that I have had for next year don't happen? If I don't get a job, if I somehow wind up alone.. I don't know. I guess none of it matters right now, but since time seems to be going by at a supersonic rate lately, I couldn't help but think these things through, maybe a little too much. I wish I would stop focusing on the wrong things. I know that we need to focus on what is unseen-- eternity. That's what really matters. But for some reason, what happens during my time on Earth still means a lot to me. Is that wrong? I don't think so..

Anyway, I'm starting to ramble. Congratulations if you made it through all of that mumbo jumbo.

Nighty night.

Band anxiety.

So, for some reason, I just started thinking about the fall, and I started getting really anxious. I am going to be doing my Elementary Ed. internship in the fall, and I am also attempting to do band. I guess what's making me nervous is the fact that I am questioning my ability to handle both. I feel like I could, but I'm just worried that something will come up at the school that I have to stay for and I'll be late or miss band and get in trouble. I doubt a scenario like that would happen (often), but it's always a possibility and since I have a tendency to over think everything, of course that would come up. I wish I could just see a preview of the fall and see how I was handling everything. You know? Just to know that I'm making the right choice. I've prayed about it but I'm just nervous I won't see the answer if it's dangling right in front of me. I don't know why I do this to myself. Aahh. It's frustrating to be nervous about something that doesn't even matter right now. Sometimes I stress myself out over what seems to be silly stuff to other people, but for some reason it always really matters to me. Even though I try to empty my mind and just let it go, it just sticks. Quite frustrating. Okay, well I have an early morning tomorrow, 6 a.m. will get here faster than I know it. Better attempt to get some ZZZZs. Wish me luck. Lots of it.

Nighty night.

Kids say the darndest things :)

Tonight, kids church was insane, but so much fun! We had a night of worship, fun and competitive games (girls vs. boys, of course!), and lots of food! Seriously, tonight I had a cup of coffee, a cupcake, a coke, AND ice cream (all in the time span of 2 hours at church). Anyway, we were in the middle of lesson, and the question was asked "Does anyone know who Indiana Jones is?" Now, these are 1st through 5th graders, and a lot of them raised their hands. I was pretty impressed. The best part, however, was when one kid said (very knowingly) "There are stories about him in the Bible!" It cracked me up. Indiana Jones in the Bible? Haha :) I mean, sure, there are lots of adventurers and daring men in the Bible, but I don't think he made the cut, or time period. It just made me think about the mind of a child. Everything in their head is so simple, and that's one of the things I love about them. Adults and teenagers have a tendency to over think and judge everything so intellectually, but to kids, the answers always seem so simple. I love it :) One of the many reasons I want to be a teacher is because I am fascinated and delighted by the way that kids think.

Anyway, I'm off to do some reading and homework.
Nighty night :)

Life's little gifts.

We've been having a lot of rain and thunder lately. Tonight I was driving home from small group (like a Bible study) and I kept seeing all of these flashes of lightning off in the distance. Have you ever just thought about how beautiful a storm can be? It almost makes me excited when a storm is coming, because I know that I can get cozied up in my apartment and just hear the powerful rain and roars on the outside. Tonight, our small group (which is working on Ruth) started getting off on a tangent (typical) and we were wondering if when you get to Heaven, if you just know all of the mysteries of the Earth. We talked about evolution, outer space, life before Jesus, God's wisdom, stuff like that. Well, I left there feeling very analytical. I started wondering about the lightning. I honestly started wondering why God made lightning. There's not really a purpose for it. It doesn't water the earth. I was thinking about it, and I realized that it just adds to the power of a good storm. Storms always remind me of the amazing power of God. You can't control a storm. They wipe out whole towns in a single instant and there is nothing we can do but watch. It's kind of crazy. I feel like God made lightning to amaze us, and remind us of his presence. Remind us just how powerful he is. You hear about Greek gods like Zeus throwing lightning bolts down at the earth, well, maybe God really does do that. Not necessarily to harm anyone, just to show us that he controls light.. electricity.. He can harness a power so great. Something tells me I dug a little too deep into that one, and I'm probably wrong, but it's kind of fun to think about it. Even though lightning used to terrify me, now I kind of like it when God gives us that little reminder. And, in a way, it's a fun and pretty darn incredible light show :)

On the topic of small groups, I absolutely love them. I love being able to get with a group of girls and just be able to talk about God and the mysteries of life. We just started working on the book "The Gospel of Ruth", and I'm really excited about it. Ruth was such an amazing woman. I can't help but be so grateful that God put such amazing women, like Ruth, on the earth so that later generations could see that there were strong women in those days. Women who bent the rules of society to obey good. Ruth had so much obedience and trust in the Lord. Not only was she a woman, but she was a foreigner and a widower. Not such great prospects for a woman in that time period. This story just shows that when you obey God and love and trust Him with all of your heart, you can be greatly rewarded. I can't wait to see what I learn this summer about an incredible woman of God. I am so grateful that I live in a country that allows me to freely worship with a group of girls and have such deep and meaningful conversations. I am blessed. I only hope that someday I can bless someone that doesn't have that same privilege... Really, I do.

Alrighty, well this has been fun :)
Nighty night.